After writing a novel, one of the first things I learned was I had to delete all my adverbs ending in –ly, but since this is a blog, and I can use whatever words I want, I chose the title LISTEN INTENTLY because listening is a choice. We don’t have to listen to other people, we choose to. It’s intentional and on purpose. But how many of us, myself included, actually do this?
Upon leaving a writer’s group the other day, the leader mentioned that I should read my work sometime. I told her that I enjoy listening, and it’s true. I really do. I learn a lot from listening to others, gleaning from stories of both success and failure. Imagine what would happen in our interpersonal relationships if we all spent more time listening and less time talking!
A friend sent me an article describing what author Krista Tippett calls “generous listening.” In her book, Becoming Wise, she describes it this way. “Listening is more than being quiet while the other person speaks until you can say what you have to say…Generous listening is powered by curiosity, a virtue we can invite and nurture in ourselves…”
LISTEN INTENLY is giving your time and energy to really care about what someone else has to say.
It reminds me of a recent encounter I had with an acquaintance. My husband asked about our time together, and I quickly responded, “She talked AT me the entire time. It was exhausting!”
We probably all know someone who talks at us, who neither cares nor wants to hear what we have to say. On the flip side, we all love being around those who take the time to listen. In which interaction do you come away feeling uplifted, encouraged, and truly cared for? I have a group of friends that uplift me by listening when I need it the most. When they share advice, it’s refreshing to my soul because they’ve invested time in listening and caring for me.
Which person do you want to be? Take the time to LISTEN INTENTLY to someone that really needs to be heard and see what you can learn. The results may surprise you!
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I couldn’t agree more. Whether you’re dealing with kids, clients,spouses, patients, etc., hearing them is not the same as listening to them. I wish more people took this to heart. I often read what I write out loud, because it forces me to listen to my words. I catch a lot of mistakes that way, and I often realize that what I put on paper sounded differently when I read the words aloud, and perhaps had a different intent. We al need to listen more “intently,” don’t we?
Great point, Rosanne! We all, myself included, need to apply this more! Thanks for the comment.